Once again last week Dr. Phil covered bullying in a show called “Raising a Bully?’ This show had a little bit of a different perspective in that it was more about the bully rather than the one being bullied.
As I expected would happen, one of the parents of a bully attempted to defend her son. It really doesn’t matter what the details are. They were horrible and actually resulted in arrests being made.
But the mother of one of the bullies was talking out of both sides of her mouth. In one breath she would admit that what her son had done was wrong, yet in the other breath she would say that the media was making it out to be worse than it actually was.
Well this is the whole problem, parents who defend their children that bully. There is just absolutely no excuse, no reasoning and no justification for defending cruelty. How about we start with that? We start with the fact that it isn’t about making “poor choices.” It is being cruel, plain and simple.
The more we try to pansy things or make them sound less than what they are, the more we add fuel to the fire and contribute to the problem. Parents have got to take bullying seriously and if your child has been accused of being one, it is better to assume it’s true than not.
I have been ingraining this in my children for many years. While I am pretty sure I don’t have to worry about any of them bullying another child, my only other concern is whether or not they would stick up for a bully. I just could never say with 100% confidence that they would.
But then my son shared with me a story when I picked him up from school one day last week. He was telling me how there is a boy in his grade who is “different.” My son isn’t entirely sure if he is autistic or what. But he doesn’t understand a lot of things and so some boys were asking him questions like, “Are you gay?” He had no idea what gay means and so he would just smile and say yes. Of course, that got a rise out of these boys.
As my son was telling me this story, my insides prickled. I just really hate hearing stories like that. But then it all ended well when he said that he and a friend of his began to stick up for the boy. They told the other boys to leave him alone and told the one being harassed to not answer their questions. I was so proud of him.
I just don’t think you can talk about bullying enough. With my children in middle and high school I know that it is an issue that can’t just be addressed one time. Bullying can become an issue at any time. As parents we have to always stay on top of it.
Parents please discuss bullying with your children and if your child has acted like a bully in any way, don’t defend them. Deal with it immediately and swiftly. Don’t get stuck raising a bully.
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