Mental health support groups can be a vital part of recovery and acceptance of many mental illnesses. Most groups are a wonderful source of support and comfort, and knowing that others experience similar symptoms and feelings is a really important part of the recovery process.
However, as we discussed in previous articles in this series, there can be negative aspects to these groups, of which all members should be on the alert for. Group saboteurs are common problem people in any group situation, but even more so in a mental health group, due to the sensitive nature of many participants. We looked at one type of group saboteur in a previous article: that of the “divide-and-conquer” merchant, who attempts to seek power and control in the group by spreading adverse comments about individual group members behind their backs.
Today we look at another common type of group saboteur: the excuse maker. These folk come to support groups with genuine problems and they genuinely want to be free of them. However, there is a resistant attitude to any form of change and consequently they frustrate the remainder of the group due to their refusal to try any suggestions.
Lyn is very good at coming up with plausible excuses as to why she cannot carry out a given suggestion by group members. It can be difficult to initially pinpoint a person with this problem but the sheer repetitious nature of their refusal to budge is a clear indicator as time goes by. Lyn suffered from social phobia and came to the group as part of her therapy requirements. It was a big step for her to attend the group and explain her problem to group members, but she found that the group was accepting and gave her lots of praise for her effort.
But that is where it stopped. Claiming she wanted to “get rid of her social phobia” she rejected every single suggestion for change that was offered to her. She had all sorts of excuses for not phoning her fellow members, and not going to social events even though other members offered to accompany her and help her out. She was certainly sabotaging her own recovery. But she was also sabotaging the wonderful group dynamic that had existed before she arrived.
As Lyn became sicker due to financial and family problems, her problems in the group escalated but she shot down every single attempt to help her. Some group members found that they were becoming increasingly frustrated with Lyn and that she was rejecting all their efforts to help her. Boundary problems within individuals in the group meant that some members experienced burnout and stopped coming to meetings just to get away from Lyn.
This is a situation where the group needs to survive over the individual and Lyn was asked to leave until such time as she was truly ready to make changes in her life. This provided a much-needed break for both Lyn and the group members. After two months, Lyn was back and willing to work, albeit slowly, on her problems.
Contact Beth McHugh for further assistance regarding this issue.
Related articles:
Is Your Support Group Supportive (1)?
Is Your Support Group Supportive (2)?
Is Your Support Group Supportive (3)?