He is if his name is:
Alec
Ernest
Garland
Ivan
Kareem
Luke
Malcolm
Preston
Tyrell
Walter
Ah, so, now we finally know what’s in a name… trouble, trouble, and trouble.
At least that’s what the experts maintain.
And by experts I mean a professor from Shippensburg University named David Kalist. Writing in Social Science Quarterly, Kalist insists that giving your boy any of the aforementioned names could land him in jail later in life.
Why?
Kalist believes that giving newborn males odd, girly or strange first names it “increases the tendency toward juvenile delinquency.”
Kalist based his conclusions on a study of some 15,000 names given to baby boys between 1987 and 1991. During his research the professor found that the more unlikely the name, the more likely a boy is to commit a delinquent act.
So basically, if you have a unique moniker that has sissy-like tendencies, then the chances that you will be picked on by kids with boring names like John and Michael increases. The endless bullying then becomes fodder for emotional distress and soon you are going postal in a crowded movie theater.
Okay, so maybe that’s my interpretation of the study.
Let’s take a closer look at some of the “bad boy” names on the list:
First of all, I find it a bit shocking that two of my college boyfriends’ names are on the list. Shocking because I am quite conservative and don’t have a history of dating “bad boys.” I dated a Preston my freshman year and I certainly wouldn’t classify him as “bad.” A bit unfocused and someone who enjoyed having a good time, but I don’t think he had a propensity for committing crimes. At least not that I know of.
I also dated an Alec (full name: Alexander). He too enjoyed partying, but not to the extent that it landed him in the slammer or rehab. Though, looking back, he was a bit of a rebel, but not in a James Dean kind of way. He was more mischievous. Sort of like Dennis the Menace. He certainly didn’t pull any of the stunts Alec Baldwin is infamous for. Baldwin is a perfect example of why the name Alec appears on the “Heading for Trouble” list.
Looking at the other names on the list, Ivan the Terrible comes to mind. Ernest Hemingway… I don’t think he caused too much trouble. Then there’s basketball Hall of Famer Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He doesn’t have nearly the tarnished image as fellow hoops star Dennis Rodman. Historic black leader Malcolm X did well with his name.
Then, there’s my favorite, Luke. I like that name, and I don’t know very many bad boy Lukes save for maybe Luke Wilson and fictional daytime heartthrob Luke Spencer. Luke Skywalker did the name proud, as did Saint Luke.
I’m not sure why Walter made the list either. Walter Cronkite, Walt Disney, and Sir Walter Scott were all upstanding individuals.
Bottom line: Giving your son a traditional name such as Michael, James or John doesn’t guarantee that he will stay out of trouble. It’s a fact that many parents seem to be well aware of given that Baby Center reports that Aiden, Hayden, Jackson and Noah were among the Top 10 names for newborn boys last year while Michael finished only 14th, James 32nd, and John a lowly 55th.
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