Keeping my cool, staying calm, achieving a state of Zen—however I try to describe it, it all comes down to my trying NOT to overreact around the parenting issues or things that happen in our family…
I have to say that at the time, my reactions feel entirely appropriate. I wrote earlier today about how I have a hard time keeping my cool when dealing with institutions, bureaucracies and difficult “customer service” representatives—at the time, my anger and frustration seem absolutely justified. Maybe they are not very productive, but they feel natural! I know in my head, however, that staying calm, cool and collective will have better results—I just can’t always get my mom emotions to follow suit!
My teens are more than happy now to call me on my overreactions, I think they have been dying to get to be old and calm enough themselves to be able to say, “Mom, don’t you think you are over-doing it a bit?” Of course I do NOT think I am overdoing it in the moment—I am filled with righteousness and sureness. It is only later when my equilibrium returns that I see that maybe I was overreacting just a teensy, weensy bit.
There have been times when I have been extremely grateful that I wasn’t being video-taped or filmed for a reality television show; I probably would not be too thrilled with how I come across when I am justifiably wigging out at one of my kids or at some little something that is fairly typical of family life. I imagine if I am behaving in any way like I remember my mother wigging, then I am not nearly as cool and collected as I like to fancy myself—regardless of how justified it seems at the time!
Also: Imagine Things From Your Child’s Perspective
Who’s The Boss Around Here Anyway?