There is a difference between having needs and being needy–and even if there wasn’t–some of us single parents are in a place where it may be time for us to realize that it is perfectly okay to have needs and it is also okay to be occasionally needy. Who says we have to be strong and stoic all the time or even that having needs means that we are NOT strong and independent?
Think of it this way–some very basic things are actually needs: We need food, shelter, health care, etc. We also need things like love, friendship, loving relationships, peace, and affection. There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting that we have these needs, in fact, it might be a sign of healing and a way of knowing that we are ready to get back into life fully and engage with the world around us on a closer level. Vulnerability does not always have to be a sign of weakness and it can, in fact, be a sign that we are able to let our guard down a bit. I know that sometimes admitting needs can make us feel as though we are “needy” but that can be healing too.
Having needs does not mean that we are expecting someone else to come along and rescue us or meet those needs for us. It also does not mean that we are weak. I know firsthand that getting tough can be a response to single parenthood, but we can still be tough and admit to having needs as well. In fact, it can be that it is only once we begin to admit and acknowledge our personal needs again that we can start down the road to getting those needs met. The first step is to get back in touch and be brave enough to acknowledge and admit to having needs (and occasionally being needy.)