I know that it can be expensive to hire a babysitter and I also know that as single parents, we may feel like we work so much and are away from our kids so much as it is, that hiring a babysitter is a bad thing. I have not yet met a single parent who did not carry around a fair amount of guilt and spending non-work, non-obligation time away from a child or children topped the list of guilt-inducing activities. I am here to say right now, however, that it is OKAY to hire a babysitter.
If expense is an issue, consider trading with another parent or starting a babysitting co-op with other trusted parents. Additionally, you might be able to take advantage of relatives, grandparents, good friends, etc. who would be happy to spend some time with your kids. Instead of looking at it as a bad thing, think of the important and valuable relationships your children will be building too–it is good for them to have other trusted adults in their lives who care about them.
When I was first a single parent and my children were ages 4, 5 and 6, I worked full time during the day and was also back in school working on my undergraduate degree. I tried to cram most of my work and classes into the day time so that my kids’ lives were affected as little as possible. One term I discovered, however, that I just did not have any time to study and I was exhausting myself trying to write big papers and do research into the wee hours of the morning. I decided to hire a babysitter for one night a week–I could either take a class on that night or use it to go to the library and study or sit at a coffee shop and study. Once I got over the guilt and found a couple of great sitters, it worked out beautifully. When my kids reminisce about “those days,” part of their memories always include the fun times they had with Mandy and Natasha (who were their one-night-a-week sitters).
Whether for work, personal development or play, just because we are single parents does not mean that we don’t deserve some time out and about away from our children and that they don’t deserve a break from us. It is okay to get a babysitter and it is okay to build a bit of your life that exists just for you. Your children and your family will be the better for it.
Also: What do You Look for in a Babysitter?