I was talking with a couple other single parent friends of mine and we had a grand chuckle comparing some of our dates and attempts at relationships from our experience as single parents. One of the “universal truths” that became apparent was that we had all experienced those people who did not have children of their own but certainly seemed to think they had all the answers when it came to parenting. In fact, I think that those of us who are parents experience that humbling transformation of realizing that we really do not know half of what we thought we did about child-rearing before we had kids. Those childish folks continue to think they have all the answers!
Of course I am generalizing and of course we were simply comparing our biased and anecdotal experience but if we single parents cannot commiserate with others who have walked in our shoes, who can we chat with? That cool, intellectual advice from those dates, friends and coworkers who have not worn the parenting cap might be interesting and entertaining—but it is not the same as someone who has slogged through the realities themselves. I do not mean to be too judgmental or mean-spirited, in fact, we managed to laugh quite hardily at some of our parallel experiences, but I have found that it is those who do not have kids of their own who are the most vocal about telling the rest of us what we should be doing!
Does this mean that single parents should only date and socialize with other parents? I know for a fact that there are some great lasting relationships that exist between single parents and non-parents. I also know a few people who have turned out to be amazing and stellar step parents. Those fabulous folks though are not the same ones who offered up all that unsolicited and untested parenting advice, however!