Over the years, I have been inclined to occasionally forget that what is old hat, or an old lesson to me—is still all new to my kids. I know that this is the very reason many people love to be around young children, it is a chance to see an old world through fresh eyes and to get a renewed version of the world. But, as a parent, I sometimes forget that what I’ve grown weary of is all new to my children.
I find with teenagers, that so much of what they are doing is very reminiscent to me of my own adolescence—but, as far as they are concerned, they really are complete originals. I think this is one of the most fun and most annoying things about teenagers—they really think they are the first ones ever to feel the things they feel and do the things they do. As far as my kids are concerned, I’ve never been anything except this “mom” that they see every day. So, when they bark at me “How would you know?” or “You don’t understand!” they really, truly believe that I am completely out of touch. While it all seems strangely familiar to me—it is all brand new to them.
Every stage is new for our kids—just because you can read about it in a parenting book or it fits in nicely into a developmental stage, doesn’t make it less unique to the child. I think this is important for us to remember as parents. Our children are not numbers on a chart or just one of many—even if we are all connected and we can have similar human experiences, the experiences are “first-time” ones for our children.
So, the next time you find yourself getting aggravated or annoyed at your child’s behavior or developmental stage, just try to remember it is all brand new to him!
Also: Celebrating Little Victories and Advancements