Are you a strict parent or a lenient parent? Do you parent differently single than you did as part of a couple? I think so many things change when you get divorced it’s hard to know what to do. When I was first divorced I tried to figure out how to parent Hailey, I wasn’t sure if the way I had parented her up to that point had been what I really wanted or what I felt like I had to do. While I was trying to figure that out, guilt made me lenient.
I let Hailey pretty much decide what was going to happen, she went to bed when she wanted, watched what shows she wanted and ate when she wanted. For several years this was a struggle and if I could give just one piece of advice to newly single parents it would be to stand strong. It is much, much harder to change the rules later.
Most of the time these things didn’t bother me, I didn’t care what time Hailey went to bed as long as she got up for school. Besides, I kind of liked the company. Although, there were some nights when I just wanted to be left alone. To have an entire hour when I didn’t have to be responsible for anyone but me. That was just about impossible. It’s hard to enforce a bedtime one night every few months; kids do not take kindly to that change in routine.
To this day Hailey is a night owl, she always goes to be later than I do so now we have a new bedtime ritual. When I’m ready for bed, Hailey comes into my room and “tucks me in.” This usually involves ten to fifteen minutes of taking, planning the following day, gossiping a little. It’s the perfect end to every day and it makes me glad that I didn’t stick to a bedtime and Hailey had the freedom to listen to her body.
I still could have used a night to myself once in a while.