When your spouse has been gravely ill or injured, it can be hard not to hover over them as they are recovering. After all, it’s an eye opening experience to realize that you could lose them and it could be that unexpected and surprising. Appendicitis is easily corrected through an appendectomy, but in the hours and sometimes days it can take to recognize what it is can make those hours and days some of the longest you have ever spent.
It’s hard to take a step back when they come home. It’s been hard for me. For my daughter it’s been very difficult to see her daddy feeling so weak and so tired. He was sleeping for as long as 18 hours a day for a while there and it’s tough to take that step away to let him attempt to push himself as he heals. Today, he’s going back to work and I don’t necessarily agree with it – especially since the doctor wanted him to take two weeks at least and it’s only been a week.
Coping with Illness
We’ve talked about coping with illness here and in the abstract, there are many things that we need to consider, but what it all boils down to is that when illness, infirmity and injury come – we are never quite sure how we will react. We know how we would like to react and we know the things we think about before it happens – but in those moments when it comes, we are never sure how we will respond.
For me, I’ve always done well in the crises – the big things. It’s the little things that send me to pieces. I don’t usually feel the emotional kick until after the crises is done and that was true in this case as well. It’s had me becoming more and more watchful over him and getting up several times in the night in order to make sure his fever wasn’t up or he wasn’t suffering from chills or any other symptoms.
He wanted to go out this weekend, in the car for a short jaunt to the store – I was very reluctant, but he was right. He needed to do it for himself and I had to deal with it – I admit to being very nervy for those couple of hours he was out and he was exhausted when he came back, but he felt good about having done it for himself.
So I am trying not to hover, but it’s hard – do you struggle against hovering when your spouse has been sick or injured?
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