Of course, I suppose I’m a traditionalist in that it is hard for me not to think that anything that happens in my house is my business. Alas, as my children get older—they are assuming that more and more of what happens in their lives is their business and NOT mine—so we are a point of struggle…
There is something about the natural state of mind of the teenager that causes them to think they are living in a vacuum. Somehow, the arguments and temper tantrums are supposed to be merely expressions of their states of mind without actually being “my business.” As is homework, school performance, personal schedules, etc. Most of the time, my teens and I are able to adhere to some sort of understanding—they humor me by keeping me filled in and I try to impersonate a sane, relaxed mother. However, when times get tense or someone is feeling out of sorts, we start to have those “It is none of your business!”—“Everything in this house is my business!” tussles.
Now, I’m sure most of the parents here will sympathize with me and agree with me that it really is all my business, but I can also relate to my kids and remember my own late teenage years. I was so ready to be out in the world and on my own and even though I felt it was some cruel twist of fate that was “forcing me” to continue living at my parent’s house until I turned 18—I really didn’t think my life was their business. Regardless of whether or not they were paying the bills or had brought me up from infancy. I suppose this is the natural way of things. However, since I’m the parent now, I am still quite convinced that it is all my business (and they really do MAKE it by business by making such a fuss of things)—at least for another year or two…
Also: The Self-Centeredness DOES Get to Me
Letting Them Really BE Teenagers
Who Am I? The Task of the Teenager