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It’s not a diaper bag anymore!

We used to have the standard-issue diaper bag, with special pockets to hold the bottles (and the freezer pack!), wipes, and of course the aforementioned diapers. But we never really liked them all that much, and often my wife would put what she needed in her own bag (we actually had a little less stuff because our children nursed as infants).

For a while, it actually seemed like we took more stuff in the diaper bag besides diapers and wipes. Here’s a partial list: Tupperware packs of cooked sweet potatoes (or pasta); bananas; bagels (sometimes frozen); small utensils; drink bottles; crayons/coloring books; tiny toys; a soft ball; rattles; teething rings; legos; cute sunglasses. Most of the stuff you never ever need, but there’s always that just-in-case feeling that sinks in.

I’ve never had a problem with any of the “official” diaper bags we’ve used. I am perfectly comfortable in who I am that I can carry a pink bag with girls’ clothes and toys in it. My only frustration is that mysterious phenomenon that affects all with bags at least once a day: that the one thing you most desperately, most immediately need always manages to fall all the way to the bottom of the bag, behind four or five perfectly good toys that have not been used in ages. I used to put stuff into smaller bags or even ziplock bags to help me get what I needed quickly.

I remember one of the first times we took our oldest out with us. She slept for a while during our lunch at the Chinese restaurant, but woke up screaming and evidently dirty. Because of this combination – and the fact that we were still new parents – we rushed her back to our car, where with much difficulty we soothed her by nursing her and by changing her. It was a challenge. That summer we dashed into a rest stop on the Thruway because she’d really made a mess in her diaper, while sitting in her car seat. It took two of us to deal with it.

As we moved further along in the journey, we moved to pull-ups – our youngest is there now. So we are closing in on the end of the diaper bag. Now, when we go out, we have one extra pull-up, a travel case of wipes, and whatever food we can grab last-minute out the door. It’s not the same sense of urgency, even when our youngest has a serious accident. We know what we’re doing. We also have the luxury of the emergency bag with the changes of clothes and extra stuff just in case. But even so, we know this time is coming to an end soon.

Despite the closeness I feel with my girls, I still don’t feel as if I’ll miss changing dirty diapers. There are many treasures of these early years that I wish to hold onto, but I’m counting the days until total potty freedom. I sympathize with those moms who feel it’s a major shift from dependence to independence. But it’s also a pleasant thought that one day I can just walk out the door and whatever they really need they themselves will carry with them.

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About T.B. White

lives in the New York City area with his wife and two daughters, 6 and 3. He is a college professor who has written essays about Media and the O.J. Simpson case, Woody Allen, and other areas of popular culture. He brings a unique perspective about parenting to families.com as the "fathers" blogger. Calling himself "Working Dad" is his way of turning a common phrase on its head. Most dads work, of course, but like many working moms, he finds himself constantly balancing his career and his family, oftentimes doing both on his couch.