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It’s Not All About You

When I listen to some people talk it sounds like they think they are the centre of the universe. That’s the attitude children often have but one would hope we would grow out of it. In a marriage you can’t afford to have this sort of attitude. It’s no longer all about you. There is at least one other person to consider- your spouse. And then sometimes even more, with in-laws and children who come along to be considered.

All of us at times want a bit of time to ourselves to do or own thing, but if one person’s wants and desires are always paramount in a marriage or any other relationship then it is doomed to failure.

That appears to be the problem in many cases. One person is so focused on their rights and what they are getting out of the relationship and what they need, that they never give enough thought, if any, to what their partner wants or needs or their partner’s rights.

A lady today told me about her daughter and son n law and their decision. Because his wife loves her job and doesn’t want to be without it for a time, he has chosen to take six months paternity leave to look after the due baby. I suspect there are not all that many men who would make such a decision. It appears in this case he has thought long and hard about what his wife wants, to keep working, and has adjusted his plans to fit in with her.

The advantage for him is that he will get a lot of time bonding with his child that many fathers miss out on. I admit it would not be a decision I could have made, as I needed to be a stay at home Mom and be involved in my child’s life and upbringing right from the beginning. But I think it’s interesting how he has considered this wife’s attitudes and needs and come to this decision and is looking forward to being a stay at home Dad for those months anyway.

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