So this week my 17-year-old son is in Haiti on a construction project. The first couple of days were extremely difficult for me. I didn’t sleep much, cried a little and thought about him constantly.
As each day passes, it gets a little better. It’s also encouraging to know that as each day goes by, it also means getting closer to his return.
And I am incredibly grateful for technology. While our phone service doesn’t allow for him to call or text, he is able to text us through his iPod. The house he is staying in has Wi-Fi and so he was able to install a free texting program.
While he has found the people to be very friendly and interesting and has experienced some good moments, he is also struggling. The temperatures have been in the 100’s and although he knew it was going to be hot going into this, I don’t think the reality of how that would feel (especially when doing labor) really struck him.
On Tuesday he was too sick to work and each day he has battled headaches. It is really, really hard to be on the other side of the world and not be able to do anything about it. I can remind him about staying hydrated but I can’t be there to hand the water to him.
Isn’t that the case with parenting anyway? There are some things we can do (like my reminders) but when it comes right down to it, we can’t be the one who puts something into action. We have to leave it in the hands of our children (even more and more as they grow older), because so much is out of our hands.
We can’t possibly be with our children every moment of every day to see the challenges they face and the way they respond. And we can’t always rescue them. I can’t do anything for my son while he is in Haiti. But I also can’t do anything when he is at school, at a friend’s house or in any other situation that I have no control over.
As parents this is a hard reality to face but its one we must. Parents who try to control their children aren’t allowing them the opportunity to grow…to make decisions and to sometimes fall when they make the wrong ones.
How do you handle those moments in parenting where you know there is absolutely nothing you can do…when it’s completely out of your hands?
Related Articles:
We Can’t Always Rescue Our Children
Decisions, Decisions: When to Step Out of the Way
Photo by John-p in stock.xchng