Lately it seems as though my days have been marked by many little incidents where I have become frustrated with my toddler’s behavior. It seems as though I snip and scold and nag him all day long and I do not like it. While I would like to encourage good behavior, I think that I am going about it all wrong. It is time for a new approach, one that is less about constant attempts at discipline and more about finding the joy that I know parenting can be.
I think that I have figured out what is missing from my day to day life, and that is the ability to exist in the present moment. In other words, it is time to start being mindful. Mindfulness is deliberate awareness to the present moment, and it involves having an attitude of acceptance, non – judgment, curiosity, and observation.
Parenting in a mindful way is said to strengthen the bond between parent and child, which in turn makes both the parents and their children happier and more emotionally healthy. That is what I want for myself and my children, a strong connection and a healthy, happy relationship. I feel that I do have a very strong bond with both of my boys, as well as a healthy relationship, but there is always room for improvement.
It is very easy to get caught up in thoughts about what has already happened or what could happen in the future. When I think about the times when I am the happiest, I always recall situations when I was in the present moment enjoying what was happening at the time. Today, I enjoyed a calm trip through the grocery store with the boys. Yesterday I really enjoyed kicking a soccer ball with Dylan out in the yard. I’m not conjuring up happy memories of that time when I was standing there wondering what to make for dinner, or the time that I was trying to figure out when I was going to get downstairs to do the laundry. I am fairly certain that the more time I can spend in the present moment, the more happy my children and I will become.