Oh jealousy…that little green monster that can do so much damage! As a single parent, we might have more than our fair share of opportunities to wrestle with jealousy—and when we give into jealousy, it seldom turns out well!
We might be jealous of our ex, or our child’s other parent; we might feel jealous of friends or family members who seem to have it better than us; an ex’s new partner; a coworker or the neighbor across the street. There are ample ordinary life situations that might be exacerbated by the fact that we have been through the crisis or trauma of becoming a single parent. Whether it was by divorce, separation, a death, or we even felt compelled to “choose” single parenthood, just knowing that there are others who have what we perceive to be a “better life” can send us into the trenches of wrestling with jealousy.
While jealousy is a natural and expected human emotion, it doesn’t make us happier or make our lives any better off. What can we do when the green-eyed monster creeps into our lives? The sooner we get things in perspective, the better. Jealousy is really more self-destructive that it is an emotion that hurts any other people—although when we let jealousy take control it can definitely have a negative impact on our children and our families.
Talk things through with a trusted and objective friend. If you are really having a hard time with jealousy, you might need to get help from a therapist or counselor. A professional can help you work through your jealousy and envy issues so that you can let things go and get on with your life more productively. For me, it helps me to evaluate potential jealousy issues by asking myself if it is really about what is going on with me, or the other person? Most often, it is my own issues clouding my perspective.
Also: Relationship Dynamics: Avoid Jealousy