Isn’t it funny the things we automatically assume? There are so many stereotypes out there that by now they are almost law. People hear something and then experience it, then it must be true.
This is something that all single parents struggle with, whether they are a single mom or a single dad. As hard as I try to be nonjudgmental I know I’ve made the same judgments myself.
If your ex husband is a dead beat dad then somehow that’s your fault, you must have seen it coming and how could you bring children into the world knowing the kind of father they were getting. In this case, you get what you deserve, those poor children.
If your ex husband is an active, involved loving father then the divorce must have been your fault. He’s such a good guy, you must have been a wild child, those poor children.
If you are a single father, God only knows what their mother must be like for you to get custody, those poor children.
If you are a single father you can’t possibly raise your daughters like they should be raised, teach them the things they should know, those poor children.
No matter what your situation is, as a single parent to the outside world, you must have done something to cause this, even if it was only to be so naive as to believe in your ex spouse. So the world things your poor children are suffering.
I know we single mothers get our fair share of unkind things from strangers but I think it is almost worse to be a single father.
First of all, everyone thinks you are incompetent, it’s a sad day for children when an incompetent man gets custody over a mother. No one cares that maybe you and your ex decided this was the best situation for the children, no one cares that you’ve been changing diapers, walking the floor and braiding hair since they were born. After all, you only “watch” your children, mothers do the raising.
Then there are the parents who will not let their daughters have a sleepover with a friend if she lives with her single father. I’m all for being cautious, but really, who is causing the poor child syndrome in this case?
It’s time to realize that single parents, even single dads are no longer a minority. We raise our kids every day, just like you do. We cook, we clean, we help with homework, wipe bottoms, read bedtime stories, brush hair and put our kids in time out. Just like you do. We also love our children, try to make the best decisions for them, hope we are guiding them in the right direction and we would lay our lives down for them, just like you.
Why do you think we are so different from you? Or is it simply fear that one day, you may be just like us.