I was reading a very interesting article about something called “competitive sleep syndrome.” I doubt that you can actually diagnose this ’syndrome’ medically, but sociologically speaking, it refers to moms making competitive statements about how early their babies have slept through the night. If you think about it, it’s utter silliness to claim your baby sleeps through the night earlier than he or she has or to use your child’s sleeping patterns as a parental bragging badge, yet in a survey conducted a few years ago, researchers found that most women lied about the age at which their little ones “slept through the night.” And why would we women do this? I blame it on June Cleaver.
Yep, you read that right. It’s June’s fault. For some reason we all have these images in our minds of what a good parent should look like. We want to be the mom whose ducks are all in a row, whose house is always neat and who makes home made cookies for snack everyday. We want to be the mom whose babies are the brightest and best behaved and if they’re too young to behave, then by golly gosh, we want to be the mom whose baby gets the most sleep. Maybe that mom exists somewhere but I have a few suspicions about her myself.
As for me, my kids slept through the night when they were developmentally old enough to do so. For some it was early and for others, it was a couple years. They potty trained when they were developmentally ready to do so. They started speaking. . .you guessed it. . .when they were developmentally ready to do so. I personally do not need my children to do certain things by a certain age to make me feel like a better parent.
I admit, this anti-June attitude makes me stick out like a sore thumb among some of the mommies that I meet. While their children are miraculously “sleeping through the night” as early as 6 weeks, I still have dark circles under my eyes at that point in the game. While their children are always matching perfectly and their all three of their baby’s hairs are always done, my babies’ hairs are sticking out funny and I consider shoes totally optional unless of course, we’re walking.
If you’re a June–well good for you. But I have a suspicion that most of us aren’t June Cleavers. I am willing to bet that more people can relate to me and my macaroni necklaces and glittered sweat pants than can relate to June. So do all the other non-June’s a favor out there and embrace your non-Juneness. Wear your glitter glue proudly, and consider those dark circles a badge of honor. It’s okay. . .no, it’s normal. . .if your baby doesn’t sleep through the night for the first two years of life. Go ahead. . .embrace the sleep deprivation as a part of true motherhood.