As parents, we can put a lot of pressure on our interactions with our children. We may feel obligated to make the most of rare time together, or we may have read so much about how to be a “good” parent or a “quality” parent that we think every time we spend any time with our child we need to be parenting. In order to build strong bonds, however, and help our children to grow up comfortable and independent, we need to just enjoy being with them and not always be trying to teach and instruct.
I have found that as my children get older, I vacillate between feeling amazed at how dazzling they are growing up to be, and panicking about all of the things I need to say to them and teach them. It is hard to just let go of that urge to tell them what to do or to make the most of a possible parenting moment but I am also learning that is exactly what I need to do sometimes. Sometimes, we need to just be together and enjoy each other’s company on a real, human level and not have to play parent-child.
Being able to appreciate our child and enjoy—laugh, tell stories, be playful, or just “hang out” is important. It also sends a strong message of love and acceptance to our child. This is how our children learn that they are loveable people who do not always have to be trying to prove something or be perfect. It also gives our kids a chance to get to know us more as people and not just parents. I am not saying that we should try to be “buddies” with our kids—but sometimes, we should just appreciate the moment of being together without wanting it to be something different than it is.
See Also: The Top Ten Benefits of Having Children