Sometimes, I have been known to just get worn down and give in. It doesn’t happen very often, but with three kids—I can remember times when they all ganged up on me, caught me in an exhausted off moment, and it just seemed easier and saner to say “Yes” than to stand my ground and say “No.” But, I fully realize that just because it was easier to say “Yes” and perfectly understandable, that doesn’t mean I should not have really said “No.”
Saying “No” and sticking to our guns with our kids can take courage and determination—more courage and determination that we may think we muster in times of exhaustion or crisis. It might be hard to think of “saying no” as taking bravery and courage for a parent, but it does. After all, we run the risk of being unpopular, of having our child throw a temper tantrum or a fit (often in public) and of making waves when saying “yes” might make us temporarily popular and make events run smoother. But, what is in the best interest of the child?
When I started out as a parent back in the late 80’s, early 90’s, it was trendy for parents to say that they didn’t want their child to hear the word “no”—according to popular philosophy, children who were constantly affirmed would be happier, better adjusted, and have a positive outlook toward life. Well, as we know, the world says “no” all the time and saying “no” and setting limits and reasonable restrictions can actually be the kindest and most loving thing we can do for our children. Not to mention, saying “no” and making sure that we don’t let our children run all over us is the kindest thing we can do for ourselves.
Sometimes, it may take more effort to say “no” and it would definitely be downright easier to just give in—but is that really the best thing for our child?
Also: Make Sure You Mean What You Say