Every day can feel like a race against time. There is so much to do and only you to do it. If I sit and talk on the phone for fifteen minutes I feel like I’ve wasted time so I’m usually multi tasking while on the phone. I can cook, clean, fold laundry, work on a craft project, surf the net looking for blog ideas all while talking on the phone.
It’s not a skill that can go on my resume but it’s one I’ve needed for the last nine years of being a single parent. There just isn’t time to stop, or so I thought.
One day I had had enough, I just didn’t feel like I could do one more thing and I learned the importance of just breathing. Just sit in a chair and do nothing, try to think about nothing, just be. Even if it’s only for five minutes it will help center you again and help you get through whatever you are facing.
This may be one of the best parenting tips of all time, and something we single parents do way too little of, but it can help immensely. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed take a time out.
When the kids are fighting and slamming doors and pushing each other, instead of jumping in the middle and adding your voice to the chaos, step back. Sit down and really look at the situation. You may be able to tell by what they say to each other or what they are fighting over what the problem really is.
It gives us a chance to calm down. We are the adults in our home and the way we communicate with out children is how they learn to communicate with others. If you are yelling to be heard over their yelling you are simply reinforcing that she who makes the most noise, wins. So sit down, calm down, and breathe.
If you have an important decision to make about your kids or for your kids, take a break. Clear your mind and just sit. Don’t think about the problem but when you come back to it your head will be uncluttered and you may see a solution that wasn’t visible before.
Taking a minute before reacting is a great skill to teach our kids as well. Sometimes we instantly react before we have had a chance to process what really happened and this escalates the situation. By sitting down and taking yourself out of the moment you can teach your kids to think before they do or say things. And who knows, it may cause things to get a little quieter in your house.