In a previous blog, we discussed Kabbala’s explanation of how we think. Basically, there are three different aspects or phases of thought. When we experience an immediate revelation of an idea, a flash of insight, this is called chochma. It is a powerful “eureka!” feeling that is quite exciting, and may or may not lead to the next phase, which is bina, or understanding or developing. The bina stage draws out an idea with all of its details and ramifications. Finally, dat or comprehension, involves either internalizing and idea or putting it into practice.
I heard from Rabbi Berel Bell that not only are there three phases in the thinking process, but that different people are characterized by different phases. For instance, chochma people have great ideas. They can be standing on line at the supermarket or sitting in their office and suddenly they have some revolutionary concept. However, this idea may be forgotten in a day or two or even in an hour. A bina person will take an idea and “run with it” developing a plan of action. However, a bina person, for all his or her planning, may not be able to get the job done. The dat person is actually the arms and legs of the project and will carry out the plan.
While there is a generalization that men tend to be chochma people and women tend to be characterized by bina (I admit to gender bending on this issue. I have more ideas than time and energy to develop them), any person may be characterized by any of these categories. And what about your kids? You may find that your son has a great idea for a science fair project, but does not know how build it, or that your daughter wrote a fantastic play and made all of the plans on how to construct the set but cannot get motivated to find the materials. It is a good idea to be aware of what kind of thinker your child is and to encourage him or her to build on strengths, and at the same time, to improve on weaknesses.
For example, a child who has difficulty coming up with ideas can be taught to brainstorm or to write in “stream of consciousness” style before beginning a first draft. If your son comes to you with a great idea, encourage him to develop the idea from there by making lists. Finally, take your kids out on errands and remind them to pick up or do certain things if they have difficulty following through.
You may want to put your chochma, bina and dat kids together to work on a project. Each child can be involved in a different phase of a plan according to his or her abilities. This is a fun way for a family to work together and to teach kids the power of team work.
See other Jewish parenting articles:
Sibling Rivalry: Consulting with your angels
The “Mine” Generation