I have written about how I am NOT on board with the general mythology and theories that children who are raised by single parents have more problems than children who are not. This said, I do think that we can be diligent and not bury our heads in the sand. We can still keep an eye out for possible problems and try to catch them before they become huge.
I think it takes some care and balance to stay alert, without jumping to conclusions and assuming that every normal developmental shift or evolution is a potential “child of a broken home” problem. Most of them won’t be. I have found over the years with my own children that more often than not, all those bumps and issues were temporary and very typical. They may have each had their own unique spin on growing up, but overall most things were not major.
Some problems did get bigger than a breadbox, however, and when I look back I realize that if I hadn’t had an eye out for possible problems, I might not have got the help we needed at the time (tutors, therapists, extra family time, etc.). As a single parent, it is easy to get so wrapped up and consumed with daily duties and responsibilities that several days or weeks may pass before we realize that something big is going on with one of our children.
I found with my own children that times of transition tended to be when most problems popped up—changing from elementary school to middle school (or middle school to high school), during a move, etc. Even if things seem rather smooth at your house—if your child spends time at his other parent’s home, it is important to know what sort of major changes are going on over there as you will likely be faced with the fall-out.
Also: Problems Don’t Always Have to be Due to Single Parent Status
Do Children of Single Parents Really Act Out More?
Controversy Over What is a Healthy Family