The other day I had a frightening experience. I’m not a confident person in the water, because I can’t swim well- only while my feet can touch bottom and I never put my face under water. The concept terrifies me. The beach we go to is usually calm, which is why we go there. But this day there were some largish waves. I was careful not to turn my back on them.
Mick caught one of the waves into shore. In the process, he lost the cap he usually wears to protect his eyes from the sun. I turned to try and help him find it. But I couldn’t see it.
Next minute he shouted at me. By the time I turned back around, it was too late. The wave swept me up and I went spluttering and floundering around underwater.
In what was only probably only a minute but felt like an eternity, Mick was at my side pulling me out from under the water. He held me close, comforting me and steadying my trembling body. I was shaken but unhurt, – more frightened than anything.
The whole problem was caused by forgetting where my focus should have been – watching those waves. It’s much the same in marriage. We can be so busy looking around at other people and their spouse, comparing them or wondering why we don’t have the sort of relationship they have, or a kind and caring spouse like our friend has that we forget where our focus should be – on our own marriage and making it the best it can be.
Recently one of our members queried the idea that marriages need can be hard work. Perhaps a better term would be nurtured or cared for. That means not looking at what else is around and flirting with others and making comparisons.
Instead try concentrating our energies and attention on our spouse – on finding his or her good qualities and seeking to help them develop them further. It means not dwelling on their faults but overlooking them because you love them. It means remembering why you fell in love with them to begin in. It means valuing and being thankful for what we have and letting our spouse know every day how much we appreciate them.
Please visit these related blogs
How to Get Your Marriage in Better Shape
7 Habits that Will Harm Your Marriage