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Keeping Them Busy, But Not Too Busy

There is a pretty accurate theory that the child who does not have anything to do, will fill that void and find something to do. While our kids do need some unstructured time, too much unstructured time can make for trouble. When a child is trying to find something to do, he may find something we would rather NOT have him do to fill his time. Our job as parents then becomes to keep them busy, but not so busy they get overwhelmed and stressed.

I think that there can even be some limits around unstructured time. There is nothing wrong with having things that are off limits and still having some parental guidance and responsibility for unstructured time. After all, we wouldn’t let our four-year-old play unsupervised in the backyard even if there was a good fence to supposedly keep her in.

Organize toys and activities so that there is always something for the child to do. Even if you are going to the doctor’s office or running errands, the parent who has things for the child to do (color books, drawing paper, puzzles, etc.) will likely have a happier and better behaved child than one who has nothing for the child to do. Expecting that you will be able to find something to do while you are out and about can invite a child to come up with his own “fun” and this might be inappropriate.

With nothing to do after school and no parameters, endless weekends without structure, and vacations without expectations, a child has too much unstructured time. Of course, having something to do every second is not good for our kids either. It is up to us as parents to try to provide and encourage plenty of structure and activity, while still allowing for a little down time and unpreserved time too.