We talk here in the Parents Blog periodically about how important it is for kids to participate in family responsibilities in order to build esteem and character, but it is important that kids have REAL responsibilities and do valuable work and chores, not be given busy work just to keep them occupied.
The other day I was out and about and I noticed a parent give a five-year-old a few books to carry, saying: “What a big helper you are!” The child looked at the parent with a combination of confusion and boredom. It was not a terribly challenging “chore” and it wasn’t something that made the child feel particularly helpful. Real jobs and chores, on the contrary, build self esteem and can actually be a bit of a “challenge” for a child. Of course, I am not advocating giving a child a task that is so tough as to be overly-frustrating, but learning how to strive and make an effort are a good thing.
Age appropriate chores that genuinely help the family are what children need–not busy work to keep them occupied while the parent does all the work. Learning to sort, wash and fold laundry; load and unload the dishwasher; sweep; mop; help prepare meals; put away groceries; sweep the porch; etc. Jobs that are an integral part of a functioning family mean far more than organizing a shelf of cans or stacking newspaper (although these can be good jobs for very young children if they are needed). Remember to increase and give children more responsibility and “harder” chores as they get older (you probably wouldn’t have a five-year-old making the salad for dinner, but an eleven-year-old could handle it well), and in making sure that your child’s chores are important and necessary–he or she will learn valuable life skills and build confidence and esteem.
Image by: tutorri.com
Also: Children Can Do Chores
Do Your Pets Help with Chores?
To Pay or Not to Pay–Allowances and Chores