How I wish that I could be gauged on how I rise to the big occasion; how cool and calm I am in a time of crisis—unfortunately, my kids don’t always remember how I saved the day in those rare amazing times, it is my everyday personality—the way I cope (or don’t) and react (or don’t) to those ordinary details upon which life is built. Our children are always watching and they will forgive us blundering up some of the big things if we are true and steady in the very day…
I know that there are some parents who would argue with me, or who hope that if they show up for the big things—graduation, weddings, getting a wayward kid out of jail—they will be granted the parent-of-the-year award. There can be no denying that our children need us to come through in the clutch, of course, but what they really NEED; what they really NOTICE is how we are every day, day in and day out, year after year. That is the person they either come to trust and believe in or do not.
For many of us, realizing that our children really are absorbing how we react on an ordinary, every-day basis is a relief. We do not have to be superhuman or try to hit a home run every time. We just need to show up, be ourselves, try to “do the deal” as we like to say in our home and stay present. This is the strength on which families are built, and on which our children will come to base their own sense of identity and worth. Surely there is room for all sorts of parents, but the most important thing—the part that our children are paying attention to—is how we handle the little things, those daily details of parenting and living.
See Also: The Little Things
The Big Impact of the Little Things