I found myself having a discussion with my 16-year-old son this past weekend that I didn’t expect to be having. Apparently he is thinking ahead and wants to know what to anticipate when he turns 18.
His main question was concerning what happens when he turns 18 years old. He wanted to know if he would have to ask permission before doing things, such as hanging out with friends. I hadn’t given it any thought; this was not a parenting issue anywhere near my radar screen so he really caught me off guard.
I gave him the best answer I could come up with. I told him that more than likely he won’t have to ask permission, however, he should still let us know what he is doing for two reasons.
The first is that if he is going to college and living at home, we are paying rent so he isn’t living in his own place. The second reason is that out of respect for his parent’s feelings, he should at least give us some idea of what he is doing so we aren’t worrying.
It is hard to believe that he is already beginning to think about these things. He has two more years of high school left and then he turns what some believe to be that magical age.
It got me thinking about how the dynamics of our family and our relationship with him will likely change. Since he is already thinking ahead, I have to start thinking ahead of other possible issues that could arise.
Staying one step ahead of our teens is more than just keeping on top of the latest teen trends and fads. It is preparing for the changes that are to come. As they age each year, they get closer and closer to what we have deemed to be the age of adulthood. We should begin planning now how we will handle issues like the one my son raised.
We also need to start thinking about expectations. If they don’t go to college, will they be expected to get a job and pay rent? How much rent would be expected? What if they want to take a year off? Should they have a curfew?
These are important questions to begin to think about. I have come to realize that the future arrives so much faster than you are prepared for. Know your expectations as a parent every step of the way.
Related Articles:
Journal Your Way through Your Teen’s Years