In a good marriage you know your spouse and their interests better than anyone see does. For example my daughter recently suggested her father might like to go and see the musical version of Doctor Zhivago.
I had my doubts, since part of the attraction as far as I could see for Mick was he liked Julie Christie, but I decided to test it out in conversation. By the end of the conversation I was left in no doubt he did not want to see it. In his opinion it was never intended to be a musical and he saw no point in tampering it the original.
Doctor Zhivago is one of those movies we disagree on. I never liked it at all, but I’d have happily gone with him to see the musical version had he wanted to see it. I might even have enjoyed it since Anthony Warlow is in it. But it’s never going to happen. He has no interest in seeing the new musical version.
Similarly he has no interest in seeing Bob Dylan when he comes out here, even though he has been a Dylan fan ever since I‘ve known him and has a collection of his CDs. Forty years ago he old have jumped at the chance, but not now. Again I would have suffered through Dylan had he wanted to see him but have to admit part of me is pleased he did not.
Still no matter how well we know our spouse, or how many years we have been together, sometimes we are still going to get it wrong. We will buy a gift they don’t like, or plan an outing that surprises them or say something that unexpectedly produces a different reaction to what we were expecting. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. While it’s good to know your spouse, it’s good to be surprised too. That element of surprise can help stop a marriage getting stale.
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