I’m not qualified to make a true correlation between physical labor while giving birth to a child, and the labor pains of the heart in adoption. I have never experienced child birth first hand. I had the honor of being invited while a long time close friend of mine was awaiting the arrival of her and her husband’s first child, a beautiful son by birth.
I remember her contractions, the waiting for her next stage of labor to approach (she had a very, very long labor); the praying for her son, and for God to be with my friend to help her to bear what was happening. I watched as her husband held her hand and wanted to keep her comfortable. While getting to be a part of this experience that I didn’t have with my boys, it really brought to mind the similarities between physical labor and labor of the heart.
With adoption, I suppose I can liken the contractions to the hurrying-up-and-waiting. There were seasons of rest and contentment where my husband and I went about our lives, then there were those moments where my heart hurt so bad aching for a child, wondering when, if, how it was going to happen. Another way we experienced the hurrying-up-and-waiting was in having to get this or that done and submitted right away. Things would seem to be moving along–then nothing… I remember feeling so forgotten by the system wondering if our papers were lost on someone’s desk, or if we’d ever get a call to attend committee in hopes of adopting a child. Like many, I had times of depression; I felt violated as our state knew everything about my personal life and I just wanted this season of laboring in my heart to be done!
When the time came for our “delivery”, it happened two-fold: The first was the hearing that we were chosen to be parents, then getting to bring our son home. The second exceeded a year in both our boys’ cases, and happened once the judge declared us a forever family. The release that was felt after each of these wonderful events was amazing.
I don’t think there is really an easy way to have children. My friend’s labor didn’t look easy and our adoptions weren’t easy. In my sons’ life story books I have this poem I found that shares my feelings toward my boys:
The Gift of Life
I didn’t give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.
For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn’t give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.
—Author Unknown
Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog