I just got done watching the ABC Family Sunday night movie starring Lindsay Lohan. “Labor Pains” tells the story of an irresponsible secretary named Thea who works at a publishing firm and blurts out she is expecting when her boss tries to fire her, thinking it will save her job. It does, but the lie forces Thea to fake a pregnancy for the next two months! The lie grows bigger and bigger and so does her belly, thanks to the foam pregnant bellies she has been stealing from the maternity store.
Throughout the movie, Thea and her boss are putting together and promoting a book called What It’s Really Like to Be Pregnant. Ironically, the movie was full of stereotypes and cliches. The movie makes light of many pregnancy perils: cankles, episiotomies, pooping on the delivery table, enlarged nipples, accidentally passing gas in public or getting stuck in a bathtub. Some efforts at humor come off better than others. I found myself wondering if the writers had ever known a real pregnant woman in their life. The awkward childbirth class scene did leave me in hysterics, however.
When the pregnancies featured in the film were real, I had to roll my eyes. Pregnant women do tend to touch or hold their bellies, but I never hugged my belly like I was carrying around a bag of groceries 24/7. One character’s contractions were so fake, I could barely handle watching. The pregnant woman gripped her stomach with a shrill scream and buckled over. The contraction lasted about five seconds and then she promptly stood up and said, “this baby’s not coming for a couple of hours.” And yet she mentioned her water had broken earlier that day. Really? Your water broke and you’re still at home? You’re still walking around except for the occasional, lightening speed, gut wrenching contraction? Realistically, by the time she was that far in labor, she would not still be walking around and her contractions would be a lot longer and more frequent. She looked like she was riding a roller coaster, not having a baby.
All poor pregnancy depictions aside, the movie was entertaining enough to keep me from turning the channel. I must say I’m not surprised it got bumped from theater release to Sunday night special, but it’s worth recording to your DVR.