Did you notice recently when I posted the article about the seven Fs I read about, that you need in a marriage the first one mentioned was friendship? That struck me at the time. The thing you might expect would be love. But no, it was friendship and food for thought.
The trouble is love today has come to mean many other things. People talk about ‘falling in love’ when often it is a physical attraction or it’s tied up with lust and the sexual appeal of the other person. It’s how they feel when they are with them.
We’ve probably all known or heard of people, who are with someone because they look good. This is the sort of idea behind the trophy wife, someone who is expected to look good on their guy’s arm when he goes out and do all those things he feels a wife should do. It happens in reverse too with women who just want a guy hanging onto them who looks hot, so they can be the envy of their friends.
People can tell themselves they are ‘in love’ with the person. Love really has nothing to do with it. It’s amazing how easily people can justify their action and try and fool even themselves. That’s not love. It doesn’t even come close.
Yes, I believe love is important in a marriage but so is friendship. You need to have something more in common that just a physical attraction. It’s not about how your partner makes you feel but how you make them feel.
Do you seek to go out of your way to please them, to make them happy? Do you let them know you love them by the things you do? Do you enjoy spending time together, and talk together about big and little things? Do you have a relationship that even when you’re old and gray, or you or your spouse is ill and sex is no longer on the menu, you still have a deep abiding bond and a love and a friendship that lasts?
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