Single parents are not the only parents who have to learn how to share and talk about bad news with their kids, but I do think it can be a big concern for single parents. Many of us have already been through some rough and rugged times with our children, but that doesn’t mean we have learned how to address and share the bad news yet.
Most experts recommend that parents need to be honest, direct, and age appropriate when it comes to sharing bad news with kids. I think it is the “age appropriate” that can be hard for us–what does that mean? Are there any allowances for individual children and different situations? Well…yes, I think there are allowances for individuality but the focus still needs to be on honesty, gentleness, and sharing what is necessary in an age appropriate way.
For me, I have found that practice and having adults to talk things over with first has helped me to learn how to share bad news with my kids. Whether it is something huge like a death or a regular, but painful occurrence (like a child’s being “stood-up” by the other parent or a change in plans), being able to be direct, on eye-level, and give our children our time and attention to help them work through and process bad news are also important.
I also think it is important for parents to take responsibility to tell the bad news instead of waiting or letting someone else do it–our children need to trust us and they need the reassurance that come from us when we are letting them know that something is not going well. Throughout the raising of our children (and life, for that matter), there will be plenty of unpleasant things that we need to share with them and talk about–taking responsibility and working at learning how best to communicate with our individual child and how to be honest and trust-worthy are important parenting skills to nurture and cultivate.
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