Children need to develop positive values that help them in making good decisions. According to the Search Institute, “The more a child develops positive values that guide her or his behavior, the more likely it is that she or he will make positive choices and grow up healthy.”
Some of the more prominent values that are necessary to grow up healthy include:
• Caring
• Equality and social justice
• Integrity
• Honesty
• Responsibility
• Restraint
Children learn values primarily by observing parents and other people in their lives. If you regularly exhibit the above-mentioned values, your child will pick up some of these assets by osmosis, but there are also specific things you can to help enhance these characteristics.
Children learn caring through taking care of a pet (s). Helping an elderly relative or neighbor together as a family shows children that people outside of the immediate family have value. There are many opportunities to volunteer time or give money to organizations that help people in need.
Encourage your children to make friends with diverse cultures in order to have a better understanding of diversity and tolerance. Help your child to treat others with respect. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or the local animal shelter. Talk about world disasters and suffering people in America and other countries experience, in an age appropriate manner.
Help your child to stand up for his or her beliefs in a respectful way. Let them act on their convictions in a constructive manner. Talk openly with your family about what you value and then do what you say. Model integrity.
Teach your child the difference between telling the truth and a lie. When your child is caught being dishonest, do not overreact-give him or her an opportunity to speak the truth. Let them know it is not ok to lie.
Teaching children that their actions affect other people will help them to begin to understand and take responsibility for what they do. Create a chore chart with your children to help keep track of jobs at home. Avoid the desire to rescue your child when she or he forgets to do a homework assignment. Don’t do the assignment for your child; let him or her take responsibility even if that means getting a poor grade.
Talk to your children starting at a young age, in an age appropriate manner about alcohol, drugs and sex and how to avoid the temptation to engage in these activities. Be very clear about your expectations and repeat them frequently. Let them know they do not have a right to hit another person or touch them in an inappropriate way, nor do others have a right to hit or touch them in an appropriate manner.
Learning values is a lifelong process. Don’t worry when you and your child occasionally miss the mark.