The lives of toddlers and young children are full of learning experiences. Sometimes, the learning is fun and positive, other times the lessons learned are of a more serious yet no less important nature. Today while we were at the park, Dylan, my three year old, learned a few things about playing fair and how to be a good friend.
Since it was a holiday, there were quite a few kids at the playground. Most of them were older, but there was one boy who looked to be about Dylan’s age. As I closely supervised Blake, Dylan went to play with the boy. They talked for a moment, perhaps deciding what game to play, and then the boy shoved Dylan to the ground and jumped on him.
I picked up Blake and walked over to where the boys were on the ground. The boy’s teenage sister was there with him, and she walked over to them as well. Dylan did not look happy, and I asked him whether he was all right. He was okay, but he thought that they were playing tag and did not expect that he would be tackled. The boy’s sister asked him to apologize, and he did. They went their separate ways, and Dylan found some other kids to play with.
At one point, he broke off from the group to do his own thing. As he was starting to climb up a slide, I saw the other little boy walk over to the slide and push Dylan off of it. I went to check on him, and the boy’s sister ran over and took him over to a corner for a time out. I hugged Dylan, who was fine, but justifiably upset. The boy came over and halfheartedly apologized, and again they went their separate ways.
Later on, Dylan started playing superheroes with another boy. Dylan saw the other boy, the one with whom he had had troubles with earlier, walking towards the boy that he was playing with. The boy that Dylan was playing with was totally oblivious to the other boy who was approaching him from behind. Dylan ran towards the boy as he approached his new friend, and yelled “Stop”, while sticking his arms out like he was going to stop him if he came any closer. That must have caught the boy off guard, because he went off to do something else.
As I was putting Dylan to bed, he asked me “What was with that kid at the playground? Why did he push me?” I felt bad because I did not know why. I told him that perhaps the boy was having a bad day, or that he did not know how to play nicely. I also told him that he was correct in feeling like the way that the boy had treated him was wrong. He had played nicely with everyone today (phew), so I told him that I was proud of him for playing nicely, and especially proud of him for not pushing the other boy in return. Finally, I told him that I was very, very impressed that he had stepped in to defend his new friend from the boy who had given him trouble.
As heartbreaking as it was to see someone treating my little guy with disrespect, it was an important lesson for him. He knew that I was right there to keep him safe, should an emergency arise, and I stayed on the sidelines as much as possible so that he could navigate the situation how he wanted to. I am glad that he was able to handle it in a way that was respectful of himself as well as others, and that he took the opportunity to protect another child from harm. Even though he does not always listen to me when we’re at home, I can see that he does understand the concepts of respect and honesty, and the importance of playing fair. It is my hope that he continues to handle future situations like this with the same competence that he did today.