The title of this article might be a bit of a stretch and it’s definitely reaching some, but whether you have been dating for a few weeks, engaged for a few months, married for a handful of years or married for many years, there are ways to love your partner that promote the longevity of the relationship and the satisfaction you will both gain from it.
So when you and your partner are making commitments to each other and learning to love each other in the best ways possible, remember these things:
- Friendship is far more important
- Avoid falling into the trap of familiarity bringing about contempt
- Listen, listen and did I mention listen?
- Be the one who makes the moves
- There is no I in team
Friendship is Far More Important
When it comes to long-term relationships, you and your partner need to share interests and joys in similar activities. Friendship is vital to the survival of a relationship and can bring deepening intimacy that keeps passion alive long past the initial flame of attraction.
Avoid Falling into the Trap of Familiarity Bringing Contempt
You know that old saying about familiarity and that it breeds contempt. The more you and your partner get to know each other, the more likely you are to see each other’s flaws and sometimes, you can become too preoccupied with the flaws and forget the virtues. So don’t let that happen to you, always remember and highlight what is positive between you above and beyond the flaws. This will allow you to work together to overcome the areas in your relationship that are problematic and more.
Listen, Listen & Listen
Not every issue is about you. Not every thing that happens affects you. When you and your spouse talk, there may be a great deal about what they say and what you hear. What you hear is going to be colored by your feelings and your perceptions. The same can be said about what they are saying. Don’t let their frustration create your own and vice versa. Listen to each other and listen well.
Be the One Who Makes the Move
The mistake that many people make, myself included, can be waiting for someone to come to you. Sometimes, you have to be the one who reaches out. Whether it’s calling an old friend, an old lover or calling your husband or wife to share what is happening and how you are feeling. Too often, we might miss opportunities if we don’t make the first move.
There is no I in Team
Don’t compete with your spouse or your partner. Don’t be jealous of their successes. When we are in a relationship, their success is your success and vice versa. Take pleasure and pride in the accomplishments you each make and don’t compare yourself or find yourself wanting. When you’re married or in a relationship, you have to remember that who you are independently is important and who you are together is equally if not more important. You each bring something unique into the mix – but who you are is who you are alone and who you are together – there is no I in this team, there is only we.
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