I had always slept in a twin-sized bed, and I liked my blankets just so and my pillow just so. I liked to toss and turn before I went to sleep. I was not used to sharing a bed with anyone.
Then I met my husband. He too liked to sleep in a certain way, and he was not used to sharing a bed with anyone.
Our wedding day was beautiful. The weather was gorgeous, the ceremony was touching, we were surrounded by friends and family. Then cold, hard reality set in. We are both blanket hogs.
We spent the first two weeks of our marriage trying to make it work. Sharing our new queen-sized bed was a struggle in and of itself. We kept waking each other up—he snores, and I do occasionally emit a sound that could be construed as something other than loud breathing. Of course, there was also the strangeness of just having someone so … near … when you’re not used to sharing. But the blankets … they were definitely worst. Either he was pulling them off me, or I was pulling them off him, and one of us was cold all the time. It wasn’t the most romantic way to start off a marriage.
But aren’t husbands and wives supposed to share blankets? I’m pretty sure that’s in the vows somewhere …
Finally, after two weeks, we came to an important realization. You don’t have to share blankets with your spouse. You can each have your own blankets. This was a total epiphany for me. It seemed to fly in the face of traditional marriage, but we gave it a try. We each took a quilt, we wrapped ourselves up, and we went right to sleep. No more tug of war, no more concealed resentment, no more blanket jealousy. We’ve slept that way ever since.
The fact of the matter is this: every couple will find their own ways to adjust. Some couples get used to each other right off the bat. Some couples like to cuddle while they sleep, and others prefer to stay on their own sides of the bed. There is no right or wrong way to share sleep with your spouse, and as you hit the balance that works best for both of you, you’ll find that it brings greater unity into your marriage—even if you are in separate blankets.
Related Blogs:
Sleeping Together – the Benefits and the Challenges