I left my daughter with a sitter for nearly 8 hours last week. In a row. For some of you, that’s a piece of cake. For those who know me well, it may as well have been a miracle.
My husband and I were getting together with friends, and we decided our 10-month-old probably would much rather be at home playing with toys. We called up Grandma and Grandpa, who were more than willing to help us out in our time of need.
When it was time to go, I kissed my baby goodbye without feeling any stress. I had a great day, free from worry, and was excited to see her when I got home.
This scenario would not have happened 6 months earlier, or even two months earlier. Being comfortable leaving my baby in someone else’s care is a brand spankin’ new feeling for me. I have to admit, I rather like it.
For the first 9 or so months of my daughter’s life, I didn’t want to leave her. It’s not that I didn’t trust other people, and it’s not that I felt I couldn’t leave my baby. I just didn’t want to. I liked being around her, I was breastfeeding her on cue, and, frankly, there was nothing else I’d rather be doing. I didn’t feel a strong urge to “get away,” to go out with friends, to shop, or anything else. My entire world revolved around my sweet bundle of joy, and I liked it that way. Sure, I would leave her for an hour or so with her dad while I went grocery shopping, but that was it. Most places I went, she came along, happily lounging in a sling. She was, quite literally, attached to my hip.
Some people thought I was crazy. They worried about my marriage, thinking my husband and I weren’t getting enough alone time. They advised me to “do something for myself.” They asked if I was losing my identity as a person because I was always with my baby.
It would have been one thing if I felt like I really wanted to leave my baby at home and was forcing myself to be at home for reasons of unwarranted guilt. I wasn’t. I genuinely wanted to be with her all the time. She seemed pretty happy with the arrangement, and I felt no need to switch it up.
About a month ago, my feelings started to change a bit. It wasn’t that I desperately needed to get away from her. I simply realized that, now that she’s older, it’s not always easy, convenient, or fun for her to come along with us. I also realized that she’s very content to play with toys or be entertained by others. We also have relatives nearby who love to watch her and who are familiar faces to her. Out of nowhere, leaving her with someone else wasn’t such a big deal.
I still like being with her the best of all, but I’m much more willing to think about arranging for a sitter if we have someplace we need to go that isn’t necessarily baby friendly.
When did you start feeling comfortable leaving your baby with a sitter?