Less Talk, More Action Parents Families.com

Less Talk, More Action

As parents, we can talk until we’re “blue in the face” as my mother used to say. Having become a parent in the very level-headed 90’s where it was all about discussing options and giving explanations to our children, I’ve actually learned the hard way that often, no talk and more action is the best way to go.

When I talk about action, I’m not talking about throwing tantrums and corporal punishment. What I am talking about is a situation like this: You and your child are sitting at a movie theatre and your child starts swinging his feet and kicking the back of the seat in front of him. You have asked him to stop and explained why that is rude, destructive, etc. He continues. Do you a. ask him to stop again or b. put your hand out and stop his legs or c. remove him from the seat and take him out into the lobby. I’m a little more on the lenient side, so I would do b. first and then, if that didn’t stop things, I would do c. But, I think going straight to removing him from the situation is a good option too. The idea being that once you’ve verbally asked, explained and/or issued a warning, the next step should be to take action.

My mother also used to say that “talk is cheap”—the smaller the child, the less that needs to be said and the more that needs to be done. Children learn quickly how to dally and delay and gain power by refusing to listen and asking questions. Instead of bargaining and explaining, take away the toy, remove the child from the situation (I’ve probably removed my children from restaurants and other public places more times than I can count—but soon they learned that if I gave them that “look”, their behavior needed to change or they were “outa there”). Stay calm and neutral, but take action—not only will you modify the situation, but your child will also learn that you are in control and you mean business.