I have found that with teens, sometimes children will react better to advice and guidance when someone else (other than you) gives it. I have seen this happen in two occasions.
At one point, my daughter and I were really butting heads. If I said “up”, she said “down”. If I said “yes”, she said “no”. If I said “do this” she said “later”. I am sure you get the point. I expressed my disappointment with a couple of women from church. They asked if they could perhaps speak to her for me. I gave them permission, and she became more agreeable almost immediately. They still pull her aside from time to time to give her praise and reinforcement in ‘honoring her mother and father’.
My son, is quite an introvert and his father and I are always trying to push him to do new things and to make him speak up and be more aggressive. He gets aggravated with us and feels as if we are just picking on him. Today I sat and listened to someone else tell him the same things we have been saying for years. There was a marked difference in how he took her advice.
The fact that teenagers react differently to others than to parents really shouldn’t upset us. It is the nature of the teenager. Instead of fighting against it, we must seek allies that we know and trust with our kids. Sometimes the other person may have a different way of getting the message across. Sometimes, the kids are just tuning us out as we preach at them every single day. When we are having issues with our kids, it is helpful to call in these reinforcements so that our kids will hear those words that they are tuning out when we speak.
The reinforcements can be teachers, clergy, relatives, and the parents of your kids’ close friends. In addition, we should also be willing to serve as reinforcements for other people’s children.
~If you liked this you should also read my other posts at the home blog, the homeschooling blog, the parents blog, and the frugal blog. You can read my recent posts here.
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