Wrestling with children over bedtime seems to be the parent’s right of passage or a national pastime of parents. We get so aggravated and agitated and ask ourselves what is wrong with us as parents because our children throw tantrums or don’t want to go to bed. But, let us look at this bed time issue with a little common sense—why on earth would the average child WANT to go to bed?! Life is so full of fun and pleasures and love and interesting new things that it seems to me a child is pretty darn smart to feel like he or she might miss out on some of those delights by falling asleep!
Let’s look at this logically—we spend a great deal of energy as parents to keep our children happy, well-fed, entertained, and stimulated. Awake time is spent going to the park, playing stimulating games, getting held and snuggled by parents and grandparents, playing with siblings, watching great movies—you name it—awake time for the average child is delightful. When they go to bed, they often have to be isolated, taken away from all the fun and stimulation, and they definitely aren’t getting all those loves and snuggles that come with the waking hours. Who wouldn’t put up a fit to have to leave all that goodness to be sent to isolation?
Understanding why our children might not be so eager to march off willingly to bed, or why they wake in the night crying for company or food, can help us to keep things in perspective as parents. This is why realities like sharing a room with siblings, the family bed, and napping in the car can be so easy for so many families—kids like these ways of sleeping because it doesn’t take them away from all the action and pleasures of life. I am not saying that we should abolish bedtime, but thinking about what a disappointing transition bedtime can be can help us to come up with a more pleasant process for our children, and maybe help them to experience some of the pleasures of sleep and bedtime too.
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