Most first-time moms have a typical Baby Shower before the baby comes. There, the mother is “showered” with things that will help her mother her new baby – necessities like diapers and clothes and baby items. But often over-looked is the importance of acknowledging the great change that a woman goes through when she becomes a mother. It is a rite of passage, and should be celebrated in a more personal way. Enter: The Blessingway.
Of Native American origin, the Blessingway can often be very similar to a baby shower. There is food, gifts, friends, family and maybe even games. The difference is that it isn’t aimed at baby as much as it’s aimed at mom. Becoming a mother is like joining an elite group of women, and the only way to be initiated is to give birth. A woman is given nine months to prepare for it. You could celebrate after the birth, but it goes without saying that it is easier to do beforehand. Think of the Blessingway as a way for the other important women in your life to celebrate the coming initiation.
I was given a Blessingway by my three good friends, my two younger sisters, and my mother when I was pregnant with my first child. We started the ceremony with smoothies and finger food. Everyone was asked to bring a charm for me to put on a necklace, which I later wore during labor. There was a large sun charm, a charm of the word “om”, a Chinese character meaning “strength”, and several others. Each guest read a short passage that they wrote for me before coming, to explain the charms that they chose. The passages also offered words of wisdom or inspiration. I passed out candles for the guests to light when I went into labor, as a symbol of their strength being passed to me. We then did a cast of my belly to close out the ceremony. It was a very memorable time, and the perfect way to commemorate my pregnancy, as well as becoming a mother.
Mine was a very low-key celebration, and took place on my due date. Yours could be as elaborate or simple as you wish. I have heard of Blessingways that include entire families, and even song-and-dance. Whatever the case, tailor it to fit your personal style.
Learn how to cast your pregnant belly
I give tips on shower registries in Let’s Talk About Creating a Shower Registry
Liz Pickett talks about her Blessingway here: The Blessingway.