One of the main reasons single parents get in such a hurry to date is that we have to contend with loneliness. We think that if we find someone to partner with, we won’t have to face those lonely nights or make big decisions all by ourselves. Someone once told me that loneliness isn’t really a longing for someone else, but a longing to get in touch with one’s own self. Single parenthood can offer us the opportunity to do that–and learn all sorts of amazing things about ourselves while we are at it.
I am one of those people who has never felt “lonely” when I was on my own–not as a single parent and not as a single person. I have actually felt lonely when I was partnered! Perhaps because of that very statement–I lost touch with myself. Plus, it is really hard for me to feel “all alone” when I have a house full of children, and three kids often feels like a “house full.” There are so many ways that a single parent can not only combat loneliness, but learn how to use those feelings to grow and develop and expand the capacity of your own soul.
When Loneliness (with a capital “L”) strikes the single parent we can get desperate and give in, or we can use it to spur us on to expanding our social lives, finding hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy our own company, taking class or making a change in our living arrangements–there are so many positive things that can come out of facing the loneliness brought on by life as a single parent. I am sure that some of you have suggestions and stories for how you have dealt with that inevitable loneliness (or, you may be like me and find that single parenthood is seldom, if ever boring or lonely–when do we actually get time to ourselves anyway?). Loneliness doesn’t have to be the downfall or a permanent state for a single parent, it can be an opportunity.
Also: Get People Around You Who Make You Feel Supported
Why Single Parents Need Other Single Parent Friends
Starting a Single Parent Support Group: Where