As parents, one of our goals is to give our children support, love and a firm grasp of their own self-worth. It’s amazing what a good marriage gives to our children. Children benefit from their parents interactions as a couple. They benefit from the existence of mutual love and respect. They benefit from the kindness and the compassion they witness. They even benefit from the problems that you have as a couple and your efforts to repair your relationship. Today’s letter of love is from an adult child to her father and celebrates the love and respect they taught her.
My Parents; My Role Models
Dear Daddy,
For more than 50 years you’ve been there for me in every way possible: emotionally, mentally and physically. All my life, you’ve been my hero and your relationship with Mom was equally inspiring. I know you were her second husband and that her children from that first marriage were not yours, but you loved them as if they were your own, because they were Mom’s kids.
I remember when you would come home from work, Mom always made dinner so that you always had just enough time to clean up before sitting down to dinner. She was always soft-spoken and seemed perfectly complemented to your earthy approach. I thought about this the other day, I never heard you argue, not the way you expect to hear arguments.
You never raised your voice to Mom and she never raised her voice to you. I remember walking into the kitchen once and the two of you were sitting at the table. You each had a cup of coffee and you were talking in these quiet, calm voices. You asked me if I could give you a few minutes and I knew that meant you wanted some private time. When I asked Mom about it later, she told me that you were disagreeing and you needed to hash out your disagreement.
All my life, I watched how the two of you tackled problems. You always made it seem easy, it didn’t mean you had to get loud or abusive or angry. You could disagree and still be calm and reasonable. You could be unhappy with a situation and still make the best of it. You could show love and respect in every action and every word.
When Mom got sick, you never once got angry. You never once seemed depressed. You took the news with such utter calmness that it helped the rest of us to stay calm. You found out what you needed to do and you did it. You were great with Mom and when Mom passed away, you were very specific in everything that needed to be done. I remember coming to your room, the night after the funeral. You were sitting in your chair and you had a blanket Mom made draped over your lap.
You were so quiet and so sad, but you still managed to smile for me. I asked you if you needed anything and you said “Linda girl, I just need you and your brothers and your sisters. Mom would want that and she won’t want me sitting here feeling sorry for myself, but tonight I need to, if you don’t mind.” I hugged you and I felt so safe in the strength of that hug and I kissed your forehead and I gave you what you wanted. Every evening for the next week, that’s how I found you – sitting in the chair with Mom’s blanket.
The way you coped with your grief was very much how you coped with life: quietly, deliberately and always with love. You showed all of us how to handle it, how to miss mom, but still not give in to our grief. You’ve been my hero since I was a little girl and you helped me to stand, to walk and to run. You’re still my hero Daddy, you’ve shown me what it is to really love and I can’t ever express to you what it means to me. Thank you Daddy, thank you for always being there and for always taking care of us and for teaching us how to love.
I love you,
Linda
Letters of Love
You write these letters of love for the ones you love. Do you have a letter of love that you want to write to your spouse? Whether they are here in the states, sleeping next to you night after night or far away in another state or another country. Do you have a letter of love that you would like to share?
Letters of Love are a part of our 14 Days of Romance here in the Marriage Blog, we hope you enjoy them!
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