Let’s face it, many of us as single parents feel like we have something to prove. We might feel like we need to prove that we are still good parents even if there is only one of us, we might feel like we need to prove we are good housekeepers and homemakers, good providers and wage-earners, likeable and loveable—you name it. Part of getting healthy as a single parent involves letting go of the need to prove to others that we are “just as good” and that our children and families are “just as good” as those that have two parents…
The thing is, that need to prove ourselves can actually be a really strong motivator in the early stages of single parenthood. It can be a survival technique that keeps us from slipping into victimization or thinking that we won’t be able to handle the realities of being a single parent. Feeling like we have expectations to live up to can spur us into taking control of ours lives and our circumstance. But, at some point, we need to get comfortable with who we are and the parent we are to our child and let go of that need to prove to everyone that we can do a fine job as a parent, provider, etc. It really is not up to anyone else to give us the stamp of approval in regards to how we are doing supporting and caring for our child/children and ourselves. After all, as my grandmother used to say, “the proof is in the pudding” which means that there is no need to try to convince everyone around us that we are capable and competent in our multiple roles—having a happy, well-adjusted family and enjoying the life we are living is really all the proof we need!
See Also: No One Likes a Martyr
How Long is a Single Parent’s Day?
Let Go of Feeling Like a Victim