Let’s face it–many of us were read plenty of fairy tales when we were younger and in those fairy tales, there was generally someone doing the rescuing and someone getting rescued. Usually (but not always) it was the handsome male prince doing the rescuing while the beautiful female princess waited to be rescued. As adults, especially those of us who have been through a separation, death or divorce, we have the opportunity to get past those myths and discover a new way of living–a way of living that does not involve either waiting for someone to come along and rescue us or searching for some broken thing who needs us to rescue them.
I think that waiting around for anyone to do something for us is generally a waste of time. This is not to say that there are not plenty of wonderful people out there who will do nice things for us, but putting our lives on hold and hoping for salvation is unfair to ourselves, and unfair to anyone else who happens to walk in to that trap. It is also a poor message to send to our children. Instead, we have the gift and the opportunity to learn how to rescue and save ourselves–learning to take care of ourselves and our family is the best way to build a strong sense of self-esteem.
I confess that I occasionally have a fantasy that someone shows up on my doorstep and offers to either cook dinner or take us all out. It is a fun little fantasy but I know it is leftover from those fairy tales and that message that someone is coming on a big white horse. No one is coming on a big white horse and while I have also tried on the other side of the coin–attempting to rescue and save someone else–that didn’t have a very happy ending or produce very healthy results either.
We can let it go, focus on the here and now, and learn how to take care of ourselves. I think it beats waiting around for someone else to come along and make our lives complete.
Also: Charles and Diana–A Love Story?