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Letting Your Kids Control Their Free Time

On weekends, I like to take it easy. When you’re a single mom of a high-energy gifted child, taking it easy can be, well, hard. I generally have to plan activities for Tyler to cut down on his misbehavior. If the weather’s nice, I take him out into the world. However, on days like today when it’s just to darn hot, I prefer to stay inside and enjoy the comforts of air conditioning.

On hot lazy days like today, I find it easier to let Tyler decide what we’re going to do. He likes to do something he calls “workshop”. It’s actually a way to get him to slow down a minute. He takes a few books and makes a “wall”. We then sit on the floor on opposite sides of the wall. We work independently on projects, generally reading books or magazines, drawing, etc. We can’t disturb the other person while we are working. If we need to talk to each other, we have to knock on the “wall”, wait for the other person to respond and then have our say.

We’ve done this maybe a dozen times and it’s been quite a respite for me. It’s a way for me to pretend to read while actually daydreaming. A sort of mental vacation. In addition, as I said, surprisingly he’s quiet and not fidgety during these workshops.

Sometimes I will actually read. Like today, I read a neat book about dragons that sparked a story idea. Then I read some old Highlights– I’m talking 1993! I love this little magazine especially the “find the hidden objects” activity. And the rebus stories are a great help for emerging readers. In fact, just before we ended the workshop today we took turns reading to each other. Tyler read a few rebus stories and I read some longer stories.

After the workshop we had lunch and watched Star Wars III. After spending two hours on a quiet activity, Tyler was able to sit still for another 2 hours and watch the movie. We finished about an hour ago and now he’s burning off some of his pent up energy but I feel he’s deserved it.

As parents, we like being in control. However, sometimes it’s okay to turn control over to your kids and let them decide how they want to spend their well-deserved free time. It’s less stress for both parent and child.

See also:

Child’s Play

You Read to Me, I’ll Read to You

Keeping Promises