Cancer is devastating for the patient and for the people close to the patient. In a recent survey from www.WebMD.com, more than half of the spouses of men with prostate cancer said that they took an active role in their husbands’ experience.
Spouses of cancer patients often experience the same emotions the patients themselves do: fear, helplessness, anxiety, depression, and a loss of intimacy. Spouses who take an active role may supervise treatments and medications, help make treatment decisions, and act as support and morale booster. Many of the cancer survivor spouses said that the disease brought them closer together.
If your spouse or another close family member or friend has cancer, here are some things to keep in mind before, during, and after treatment.
- Plan ahead. Think about things like finances and lost wages, health insurance, and company health plans.
- Talk about an advanced health directive, to allow someone else to make medical decisions if the patient is not able. Think about a living will, which will clearly and legally convey the patient’s wishes in case of serious health threats.
- Look into giving power of attorney to another family member — this will allow someone else to take care of financial decisions if the patient is not able.
- Keep communications open. Talk about your hopes and fears, and listen to your partner’s hopes and fears. Counseling (together or separately) may help you deal with stresses and fears.
- Be involved in the medical process. Join your spouse for doctor visits and treatments.
- Get support. Many hospitals offer support groups both for patients and for family members. Hospital social workers can help you with all sorts of issues, including emotional difficulties, treatment questions, and financial plans.
- Give yourself a break sometimes. Taking care of a loved one can be a mental, physical, and emotional strain. Respite care may be available from the hospital, or other family members and friends may be willing to step in and assist.