When my daughter was three, we had some friends over to the house. They had two little girls, two very destructive little girls, but we didn’t know that at the time. We thought the girls were all playing nicely in my daughter’s bedroom.
She came down the hall and found me. Not able to articulate very well, she said, “My toys! My toys!”
I thought she was just having issues with sharing. “It’s okay, honey. You can share.”
A very real look of panic crossed her face. “My toys!”
“Go back and play,” I told her.
A few minutes later, she returned. “My chair! My chair!”
“It’s okay to let someone sit in your chair,” I told her. Again, she looked panicked, but she obediently went back to play. I was having fun visiting with my friends and to be honest, wasn’t really paying attention to her.
After our friends left, I went down the hall and nearly fainted. My daughter’s toys were broken in bits all over the floor. Her chair, which was made of white painted wicker, had little pieces broken out of it. Her books were colored in, her drawers had been pulled out and all the clothes scattered – I couldn’t believe it.
My daughter has always been super fastidious about her things. Her stuffed animals looked new from the store three years after purchase. Her books were always handled carefully and neatly returned to the shelf. It was causing her real horror to see these guests demolish her room, and when she tried to tell me, I shrugged it off.
I’ll admit, I’m not always the most patient mom. It’s hard for me to sit and listen to every grievance and soothe every complaint. But I have to say, I learned a real lesson that day. Here, I thought my daughter was just having issues with sharing. Instead, she was trying to tell me that massive destruction was taking place in her room. I wish I had listened. I wish I had just gone down the hall and seen what was going on. I learned that when a child is upset, we should listen, even if we think it’s nothing. It’s certainly something to them.
Related Blogs:
Sometimes They Just Need a Witness
Show an Interest in What People Do and Say
Finding Balance Between Talking and Listening