Many people think that living together is a good trial version of marriage. Living together may seem like a good idea and a way to get to know someone better before taking the leap. The chance to learn about each other’s quirks and faults and knowing more of what to expect, seems like a good test before making the commitment of marriage.
That’s really the whole point. Living together is not at all the same kind of commitment as marriage. You swear no vows before God, witnesses, and each other, and you make no legal contract. Either person can still walk out, free and clear, at any given moment.
Since it’s not the same type of commitment, it doesn’t give you a real sense of what being married to the other person will be like. Living together can give you some hints, but it won’t provide all the answers. Those answers only come from actually being married and working through things as husband and wife.
Many people change when they get married. They feel more entitled, more secure, and more able to be themselves. Not that these are bad things, but your mate may have been putting his or her best foot forward during the test drive or taking care not to offend. Once married, he or she may “let it all hang out” so to speak. In other words, you may find that you are married to a very different person than the one you lived with.
Marriage is about commitment, one that should not be taken lightly. It means swearing to love each other and live together for the rest of your life, instead of until you change your mind or decide you liked being single better.
If you’re considering marriage, do yourself and your beloved a favor, and wait until you’re ready to fully commit. Be prepared, discuss everything, and do not go into it with unrealistic expectations. Save the test drive for buying a car.